As we go on, we remember, all the times we had together

" I’m scared that if I let myself be happy for one minute, that the my world’s going to come crashing down and I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive that. "

Today I had three exams. 

Exam 3 for CSC 202

Exam 2 for CSC 350

Exam 2 for PSY 311

The CSC 202 exam I took today was the exam I was studying for the night Mom had her aneurysm rupture. I remember everything about that evening from the moment I received the phone call to every minute that passed by until I got to the hospital. Today taking my exam and getting my grade is confirmation that I'm moving forward. Next week I'll take my Summer II finals and nearly be done with the Spring semester I couldn't complete and in addition have completed 2 summer courses. I'm moving forward without my Mom and I have to say that it hurts me real bad.

I will finally be a senior.

I have set aside hotel rooms for family for graduation next May.

I have confirmed a banquet room for my graduation party.

I have people throwing my graduation party for me.

I am so blessed with all of the people that have come to my side in all this.
Yet, I still miss Mom.

This.

Graduation.

It's the one thing she really really wanted for me and my sister.

She didn't want us to depend on a man to take care of us.

I was supposed to share this achievement with her.

So that sucks.

This past week I have received messages from mr junior high choir teacher and my high school advanced english teacher telling me how proud they are of me. How they like seeing my posts on facebook. How they think I'm strong and can succeed. 

I can't even explain what these things mean to me.

I know it seems like something so small, a few compliments, whatever.

But it's not small.

It always happens when I'm having a moment of sadness.

Or discouraging thoughts.

It comes right when I need it.

\

My sister shared this song with me and I am in love with it. So, you should listen.

Dancing in the Sky by Dani & Lizzy