Where'd you go? I miss you so...

 Seems like its been forever that you've been gone -- Please come back home.

I actually wrote this a week ago (June 26th) but didn't post it because I hadn't found any images yet.
Sorry about that.
Tonight there will 2 posts back to back.


This quote is the one I had tattooed on me for me Mom.

My boyfriend refers me as "Jessica 2". 

I told him to get used to me crying every day. 

He said he didn't want to get used to anything to do with our current situation.

I feel like a burden.

I can't turn it off.

I can't turn off my sadness.

I'm either sad or I'm not.

I don't know what to do about this.

I know I'm causing him stress.

I know he's not going to abandon me or anything.

I just feel like I'm a difficult person and I don't like that.

Yesterday was a good day.

I did a lot.

I made a list last night and accomplished most of what I had on it.

I was so proud of myself.

I wore a necklace of my Mom's yesterday and I kinda felt like it gave me strength.

I was mostly happy.

It was nice not to have a bad day.

Today has been an insane day with politics and I really wish Mom was here to talk to about it.
She was a democrat and I consider myself to be a libertarian.
She used to pick on me and I even found a message the other day where she said "Get your republican panties out of a wad."
It made me laugh so hard.
I like to think though that she is proud of me for knowing what is going on in the world.

Today I have been feeling a lot of anxiety.
Sometimes I think about my life and who I am.
How much the person I am is because of my Mom.
It was shocking the first time I realized it.
To name a few:
1. My love for classic rock and live bands.
2. My current university.
3. My major.
4. Me being back in Texas after living in Alabama for so long.
5. My affinity for animals - especially cats.
6. My appreciation for what things cost and how much someone had to work to provide it.



Sometimes I feel like I can't go on without her in my life.
I know that's nonsense.
I'm more scared that going means I'm forgetting her.
I know that's nonsense too.
But it's how I feel and I can't help it



Where'd You Go - Fort Minor